Hi, I am Chetan Kandel from Nepal. I am 25 years old. When I was 23 years old, I came to know that I am an intersex person from the experience sharing with Esan Regmi and the Campaign for Change team in Kathmandu.
My coming-out journey was not a single moment but a gradual process of self-acceptance and finding confidence in myself
Deep in Confusion
I was growing as the elder daughter in the family, my bodily and hormonal changes did not happen like a girl, and it was beyond the parents’ and doctor’s expectations, even mine. I was very confused regarding my body.
Things started to come up when I reached the teenage age. The development of a usual girl’s body did not happen to me. It was different, which made me feel so confused. There was a sense of loneliness and hesitation in my body. This kind of thinking really troubles my mind, especially when all my documents, including my birth certificate, were also given a female name.
According to my parents, they had always thought of me as a normal daughter at birth. But when I reached the age of 2, they had noticed something different in my reproductive organ, so my parents went to the doctors for a check-up. I was diagnosed with ambiguous genitalia with a large clitoris. When these reports came, my parents wanted to check my chromosomes by testing karyotyping. There have been 46 XX chromosomes in my body. By seeing these reports, the doctor advised me to undergo surgical correction, and it was done in the hope I could be a mother with the consent of my parents. But it was all in vain.
After all of these medical interventions, the doctor has told my parents that ”I can be a mother”. So that my parents have raised me as a daughter.
At that time, I was confused and had a feeling of isolation during my childhood and adolescence. I was unclear about my body and intersex traits.I am not able to share my experience and feelings with my peers. Not knowing my body traits I feel so alone and confused about who I am?
It was not just my internal feeling, but the external environment as well. After finishing high school, I went to a job interview, and the supervisor said that I was a fake student or examiner based on my physical appearance and my documents. Sometimes they send me outside. Those experiences triggered my need to know myself, to understand who I am. Since that moment, I was on a long and hard journey to search for myself.
Finding Confidence in Identity
In 2024, I first met Esan Regmi, the co-founder of Campaign for Change, and we shared our experiences and journey to get to know each other. That day, I knew my identity and was much clearer about intersex traits. I was so excited knowing my intersex identity, and in some way, I was relieved. I finally found who I am.
After knowing my intersex identity, I told my family member, and they also provided me more emotional support, encouragement, and a safe space to talk openly, and eventually became a strong pillar of acceptance towards my identity. After knowing my intersex identity through physical and social media, my friends also motivate me and support me by listening without judgment.
When I knew my intersex identity, I first told my parents, and they were also supportive of me and motivated me to move forward. For me, coming out as intersex is both a declaration of authenticity and an act of advocacy. I define my intersex identity as an integral part of who I am—it reflects the natural diversity of human bodies and experiences. For me, being intersex is not something to hide or “fix,” but rather a reminder that intersex identity can exist beyond traditional categories. It is a story of reclaiming my voice and living with pride.
Now I am working for Campaign for Change, which is the only intersex-led organization in Nepal. It is a more comfortable and friendly workplace, and to share my feelings without any kind of judgement. I hope intersex people continue to find their voices and get accepted by society.
This story of Chetan is part of a new initiative from Intersex Asia to feature community stories across Asia, launching as a part of Intersex Asia’s IDAHOBIT 2026 celebration: Where we are-Here we are!
